See Me
by Havoc-Cheese590
Summary: Canada realizes his feelings for America but is upset that he will never be able to tell him about his feelings or the incident that left him scared a few days previous...
1. See Me

The crisp smell of fall air filled my nose and I smiled. I was smiling at nothing I suppose; maybe the smell of maple leaves in the fall was a comfort to me. And the sight of the red leaves slowly and gracefully fluttering to the ground in the soft wind of fall made my heart swell a little. This sight was so simple and yet so beautiful and I was the only one watching it. It was almost a snow of leaves and the sound of the leaves rustling in the trees was so pretty and calming I felt almost selfish. I felt selfish because it was if I wasn't sharing some wonderful thing like a book or present. I wished he was here with me to see this. Maybe he wouldn't appreciate it as much as I was but he would at least be close to me…

I sighed and leaned my head against the tree I was sitting against. My strawberry blond hair flew over my face and I brushed it away with my fingers. It wasn't particularly cold but it was chilly enough to make me thankful for my over sized hooded sweatshirt. The sun was setting slightly causing the air to become colder. As my skin prickled with goose bumps I wished his arms were wrapped around me and keeping me warm.

I sighed again and my smile turned into a slight sad frown. He never noticed me, nobody did. It was as if I was truly invisible. Not one person ever had even said my name before. I was always that one guy in the way, or just that noise that no one could ever figure out what it was. I had gotten used to being this too. Whenever I said something the whole room would grow silent and questions like "did you hear that?" and some excuse would come up and things would go back to how they were a few seconds before. I had gotten used to being invisible and unnoticed. I rarely spoke, rarely sat near anyone, rarely even _tried _to make myself noticed.

If I had gotten so used to it then why had I gotten these feelings? How had I gotten these feelings of warmth and wanting whenever I was near him? He barely said a word to me and hardly gave me the least bit of attention. He never remembered my name and was always accidentally hitting me but never noticing. If he treated me so horribly then why did I feel such a huge urge to be close to him?

Why did I want to stroke his blonde hair and why did I want to look into his blue eyes and have him stare into mine? Why did I want his strong arms strengthened by various wars around me and most importantly why did I want his lips to kiss mine? My heart would pound furiously when the idea even crossed my mind. It was foolish of me to think that though. It was foolish of me to even wish that. On the rare occasion he did talk to me he wouldn't remember my name. Sometimes he would forget what land he was in, in fact in the previous week he thought he was in Texas when he was actually in Ontario. It made me smile but also made me sad.

I still remember what had made me like him. It was all the little things that he did that made me smile and made my heart beat faster and my face blush. How his single strand of cow licked hair reacted with his head movements. How when he smiled he always had that mischievous look in his eye. How when he was bored he'd play with whatever was close by like a pen or a piece of paper. And how he would take off his bomber jacket, I would temporarily lose my breath. As I thought of all of these things I could feel my face reddening and grower warmer in a blush.

I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

I was in love with Alfred F. Jones.

I let myself admit this and it made me even sadder as I realized he would never know I did. He would never know how much I wanted to hold him while he held me and kissed me. He would never know how I felt because he never noticed me. But how much of that was my own fault? I had tried to talk to him but he always got distracted by Arthur or Francis or whoever else was around. I had sat next to him in meetings and he had gone through the entire meeting without directing a single sentence at me.

It was not as if he never said anything to me, it was just I never held his interest. The minute someone else walked into the room I would be forgotten. And he had never said my name… ever. The words Matthew Williams had never been said from his lips. Every time he walked away from me, he took a little part of me with him. It hurt… it hurt a lot. But I was too shy and he was too distracted for me to say anything.

I sighed and then an American song came into my head. I had heard it on the radio and it had made think of Alfred. Before I realized it, the lyrics were being sung from my mouth.

"Watch my life

Pass me by

In the rearview mirror

Pictures frozen in time

Are becoming clearer

I don't wanna waste another day

Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes"

It felt nice to sing and let out what I was feeling and wondered why I didn't sing more often. Then I remembered I was too shy to sing. As I got to the chorus though, my voice grew louder and I sang with more strength in my voice.

"Cause' I want you

And I feel you

Driving underneath my skin

Like a hunger

Like a burning

To find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken

And I'm faded

I'm half the man I thought I would be

But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside little by little

Nowhere to go but going out of my mind

In endless circles

Running from myself until you gave me a reason for standing still

Cause' I want you

And I feel you

Driving underneath my skin

Like a hunger

Like a burning

To find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken

And I'm faded

I'm half the man I thought I would be

But you can have what's left of me

Falling faster

Barely Breathing

Give me something to believe in

Tell me it's not all in my head

Take what's of this man

Make me whole once again

Cause' I want you

And I feel you

Driving underneath my skin

Like a hunger

Like a burning

To find a place I've never been

Now I'm broken

And I'm faded

I'm half the man I thought I would be

But you can have what's left-"

I heard the unmistakable sound of feet crunching on top of maple leaves and immediately stopped singing. My head jerked the other way to see who had walked into my woods. It could be one of my people or even an animal. And I had just been singing but still…

But as I saw who it was my heart stopped and my eyes widened as a deep blush crept across my face. Alfred was standing there with his mouth slightly open and was staring at me. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds and just sat there staring at his eyes that were staring into mine and it was completely silent. I don't think I even blinked and a million questions raced through my mind.

"_Did he hear me? How long has he been standing there? Why is here? Did he figure it out? Is he lost? What should I say? Should I let him say something?"_

His voice snapped me back to reality as he said," Hello how are you?"

I shot off the ground and walked the few feet over to him. I brushed the back of my jeans and sweatshirt off and kept my gaze downward from embarrassment.

"A-Alfred what a-are you doing here?"

Alfred had only come once before but he had been lost then so it was probably the same now. Any second now he would go running off and I would be left in the dust. I braced myself for his leave.

"I came to see you."

I flinched in surprise and my heart started to pound. I had to remind myself to breathe and tried to hide my confused smile. I tried to look up and I knew my face was red. I laughed slightly as I replied quietly to Alfred," Oh but uhm you never come to see me…"

Alfred stood with one hand in his pocket and ran his other hand through his hair. He sighed and let out the words," I get busy a lot…"

Alfred missed what I was trying to say. I meant that he, and as a matter of fact no one, even bothered to visit me. That resulted in me usually keeping to myself and no one coming up to my land. I wondered to myself if he was lost and just trying to hide that fact with a lie.

"I just meant… I mean you came up here one time and you thought you were in Texas…"

"I needed to go there and I can't read maps, it was probably upside down."

He shifted his gaze away from mine and crossed his arms. I knew what this body language meant when it was from Alfred. He was lying about something…

But he couldn't be lying… could he? Had he actually meant to come to see me and tried to cover that up with a lie? No, not a chance… something was probably just… on his mind…

I giggled nervously as I remembered a few days earlier when Francis had told me a joke about the geography of America when Alfred brought up how he couldn't read a map. I remembered I had tried to yell at Francis but he had just glared at me and reminded me that I should hold my tongue since he technically founded me. I shook the memory out of my head and Alfred was asking me a question.

"What's so funny?" He asked me with a warm smile and my heart sped up.

"N-nothing it was just something France said…."

I realized this was the wrong thing to say as his eyes darkened and his eyebrows pulled together and his lips formed a frown. Alfred and Francis had never gotten along and bringing Francis into a conversation around Alfred meant disaster.

"Okay," I thought I was in the clear until he asked," What did he say?"

I didn't like the look on Alfred's face and I played with my strand of curly hair nervously. It killed me talking about this… or just remembering.

"He made a joke about uhm… Florida…" I whispered Florida and a knot formed in my stomach. Alfred just smiled out of humor and I didn't want that smile to ever fade.

"What did he say?"

I didn't want Alfred to get mad at me or run off since this was the longest conversation we had ever had. And since no one else was around he couldn't get distracted. I twirled my hair around my finger even faster and mumbled," That Florida was your uhm…" I tried to pick out the right words but none sounded right. I finally just spit it out. "… Your 'lower' anatomy…"

Alfred's face went red and then anger crept its way across his eyes. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and I knew he wanted to go and beat up Francis. But if he did that Francis would know I told… no Alfred can't find out… he could never find out what was going on…

"Uhm don't tell him I told you… he told me not to and he founded me so I can't get mad at him and I owe him and- and…"

His face darkened even more and I tried to explain but I stumbled over my words and it all came out as nervous ramble.

"I-I'm sorry Alfred, I-I could try to tell him t-to stop but I-I tried that and-and it didn't exactly work and uhm he wouldn't listen… usually he doesn't notice me when I try to talk…" Sudden sadness panged at my heart as I finished my sentence. "A lot of people don't notice me…"

I hung my head and looked at the ground as my face reddened and my heart beat furiously.

"What do you owe him?"

I didn't know how to answer that question. I didn't think I owed Francis but he insisted I did that day and told me all the reasons. I just repeated them to Alfred.

"He founded me and h-he helped me a l-lot during wars… and" Slight tears choked me and my throat hurt as I remembered the day Francis told me that. I kept my gaze down at the ground and shut my eyes tight to try to fight off the tears.

Suddenly I heard more crunching of leaves in front of me and Alfred's arms were suddenly wrapped around me. My heart skipped beats and I forgot how to breathe. I had no clue what to do. Should I say something? Should I hug him back? I was about to do something when he said quietly," I notice you."

His words sounded almost sad as he said this and I wondered if he was sad about what Francis said or maybe… something I had said. I had said that no one noticed me and he opposed that by saying he did and I was more confused than I had ever been.

"A-Alfred are you o-okay? I mean y-you've never hugged me before a-and you sounded worried about me a-and angry about France and-"

"You like me right?"

I choked on my own air and suddenly I realized how close Alfred was to me. I backed away a little still shocked and unbelieving Alfred had just asked me that.

"H-how do you mean?" I could feel my face going even redder and I hoped with all my heart foolishly he would respond with the same feelings I had.

Unfortunately he replied with," Brotherly love?"

I expected as much. "Oh… yes I like you." I didn't mean for my voice to sound as disappointed as it did but my heart hurt too much to control how my voice sounded. My head was turned down again but then it was tilted upward by a strong hand and I was looking directly into Alfred's eyes.

"How about a little bit more than that?" he whispered to me.

I tried to jerk away but his grip on my face was too tight and I asked nervously," W-what do you mean A-Alfred?"

"You heard me."

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him everything. How whenever he was near me my heart would pound. And how he just hugged me made me forget where I even was. How my heart was pounding…

Just like how it had been a few days previous…

"_Francis? Are you in there?"_

"_Yes come in."_

_I walked in to see Francis sitting with his fingers laced and his face resting on top of them._

"_H-hello…" I nervously tried to greet him but his eyes were scaring me._

"_Thank you for coming; you know why you're here non?"_

"_You wanted to discuss land maintenance I think…"_

_He smiled and I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I didn't like it…_

"_Correct. Did you bring a map?"_

"_Yes I did, should I uhm sit down or uhm is your desk not big enough for the atlas?"_

_He stood up and gestured me to a long table and I handed him the map I had brought. I couldn't find any maps with just my land or his on them so I had to settle for a world atlas. He chuckled to himself as his hand grazed over Alfred's land._

"_You know what Florida is non?"_

"_Part of America…"_

_He glared down at me and said sharply," Don't be smart."_

_I fell silent and he continued to laugh. "Florida is Alfred's co-"_

"_FRANCIS!" I immediately clasped my hands over my mouth and realized how loud I had shouted. His eyes were questionable and looking at me._

"_What's the big deal?"_

"_I-I don't think you should joke about Alfred so dirty, he would probably get mad. And that's not really something to joke about. I mean how would you feel if someone-"_

"_Watch. Your. Tongue."_

_I fell silent again and he glared at me. My pulse was beating furiously and I felt sick._

"_I founded you! I raised you and half your people speak my language and I helped you in your wars! I think you owe me…"_

"_H-how so?"_

_He smiled at me and slammed me against the wall._

_I yelped in pain and surprise and my glasses flew off from impact._

"_F-Francis wah-what a-a-are you d-doing?"_

"_Oh this is just payment for all the things I've done for you."_

_I was about to ask something else and I tried to push him off but he pinned my wrists with one of his hands against the wall._

"_Ow, Francis that hurts…"_

"_Didn't I just tell you to watch your tongue?" He smiled at me and then leaned forward and pressed his lips to my neck. His other hand was removing the belts I had on my chest and they fell to the floor._

"_F-Francis no!"_

_He slapped my face and said to me sternly. "I can take the land I gave you back just as easily as I gave it to you." _

"_No please don't."_

"_Then be quiet."_

_He jerked my coat open and moved his mouth to my chest and down to my stomach. I whimpered and held back tears. I didn't want this…_

_He pulled at my waist line and I was about to yell but he clamped a hand over my mouth and came back up to my face._

"_Remember what I said."_

_I shook with sobs as he moved his mouth back down to my waist and oh God no… not there… no…_

_I hate him. I hate him touching me. I hate him kissing me. I hate him._

I tried to push this painful memory out of my head. How when France was done he said I could leave and how I ran home and sobbed on my bed and screamed Alfred's name. How I had wished so hard that it hurt that Alfred was there to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay.

I tried to say something but words wouldn't come out of my mouth. All I could do was think of what to say and none would come out. How when France touches me it means nothing and how I hate it and want to run. But when Alfred is simply even near me…

I looked at Alfred and anger was livid in his eyes. My face went completely red as I realized I just had said my last few thoughts out loud.

"He _touched _you?!"

I had told. It slipped out… but now Francis would take my land. No I could still fix this. I tried to smile and I speak normally.

"Oh it's no big deal… it's my own problem. It's nothing I promise."

"Please tell me… I want to know…"

Sympathy was in his voice and he sounded worried. I choked on sobs and tears were flowing from my eyes and I said weakly," You wouldn't understand…"

"You can tell me anything."

I trusted him. I trusted his words. I broke down in sobs and told him. I told him what France did. I was shaking and sobbing and telling him what happened. It hurt to say it and it was painful to talk about. How I stood up for him and faced consequences. My heart ached and I sobbed and words just kept flowing from my mouth.

"I tried to push him off. I really did! But he was too strong and he kept going and I couldn't yell and- and…"

The feeling of when Francis did what he did to me came into my mind and I let out a scream. My breathing came in quiet gasps and I continued to cry. I felt silly crying there like an idiot with Alfred watching.

He said shakily," This won't happen again."

He didn't understand; I knew it. He didn't understand how I couldn't fend off Francis by myself. I could try to meet him in more public places… I could bring people with me… I certainly couldn't threaten…

"Maybe…" Francis had always touched me on my chest and backside but had never acted on it until a couple days previous. There was no way of stopping what had been going on for years…

"Huh? What do you mean?" He was close to me again and his voice sounded concerned and worried. My sobs had calmed a bit and I could talk normally again without choking.

"I-I'll be fine, I-I'll leave doors and windows open when he has to talk to me… and I'll scream and yell and-"

"Um no, he's not gonna get to you again."

I snapped and started shouting.

"How?! How Alfred how?! I'm weak! And he's too strong and I can't even stand up for myself!! How in the world will I be able to stop him next time!? What if he tries to ra-" A choked scream came out of my throat and suddenly I couldn't talk. Alfred was close and he said quietly but sternly," I will protect you. He'll never touch you again."

I was relieved and happy and confused and scared and so many other things. I wanted to say so many things to him. I met his eyes with my own tear stained ones and asked," Why are noticing me? Why are you worried about me?"

He eyes locked with mine and he said," I love you."

I stepped forward and reached for his hand. His hand was warm clasped around mine.

"You mean brotherly love?"

"No." He leaned closer to me and I was still looking into his eyes. Finally my feelings came out.

"I love you too… in the way that every time I see you… my heart races. Every time I hear your voice my breath stops and whenever you're near me I want to be closer."

Alfred wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to him. He whispered," You have no idea how long I've been too afraid to say any of this."

"We can be brave together…" I nervously brought my lips to his and held him as he was holding me.

"I love you Alfred."

"I love you too Matthew."

And as his lips were brought back to mine and I felt as if I was flying I realized he said my name.

Maybe people really do see me.

It doesn't matter.

At least he sees me.

He's the only one I want to.

The only I want to see me and me entirely is him.

I love him.

He loves me.

Happiness and peace have never felt so close.

_~HC Afterword_

_I seriously have NOTHING against France! Really he's one of my favorite characters! I may do a part two for this so if you want keep your eyes open!_

_Thanks for reading!_


	2. Love Me

I've been happier these days. I smile a lot more than I used to and I laugh louder. It's funny how some people can have such an influence on you. How one person can change so much about you for better or worse. How just one person who means the world to you, can have such a big impact on your life and make such a difference. How much he's changed me unknowingly and positively… it just amazes me.

I didn't notice these differences at first since they were so small. How when I smiled I would smile wider. How when I talked I wouldn't speak so quietly and wouldn't stutter as much. When he pointed these things out to me, it caught me off guard. We were just eating lunch and talking and he pointed out how he could hear my voice now over the noise of a crowd. Of course my blushing hasn't lost its effect and as expected crept across my face. He thinks it's adorable though.

I noticed also I may have changed him slightly. He takes more notice to small things nowadays, such as the curl of his hair or how brash he is talking. He noticed this and I suggested it was a negative influence from me since I'm always so quiet. Whereupon saying that he cupped my face in his hands and made me promise never to say that again. He takes much more notice to me than he ever did and I hoping it's due to how much I love him and how much he loves me. I love this feeling too.

This feeling of being able to hold his hand and smile at him and know he feels the same way. The feeling I get when he holds me in his arms and tells me he loves me and how hard my heart starts to pound. This feeling of just being able to lean my head on his shoulder and have his arm around me while we're watching TV or are just sitting somewhere makes me feel so free. It makes me so happy.

Alfred makes me happy. He loves me and you don't even have to ask if I love him.

It's too obvious that I do with all my heart

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"Alfred, are you sure I'm not too heavy?"

"You're not heavy at all."

"But you're grunting an awful lot…"

"Trust me Matthew it's not due to your weight."

The sound of him saying my name still makes me smile. He used to never say it but now he says it all the time. I love to be able to say his name as well… I don't know. I guess it's some kind of special connection you get when you're in love with someone.

"If you're sure…"

"I'm positive!"

He pushed himself back off the ground with me sitting cross legged on his back. Alfred had been doing pushups for ten minutes before he got bored and asked me with wide eyes if I would sit on his back. I had just sat there on the floor confused and he asked me again. I said ok warily and sat on his back slightly but he told me to sit fully cross legged. I nervously did and he started pushing himself up and down off the floor again. I didn't seem to cause any lag in his quick movements. It was as if I had just set a feather on his back instead of myself. I was worried I was hurting him but he argued that I wasn't, so I just sat there being moved up and down.

"How many have you done so far?"

"As of now 110!"

"And how many do you have to do?"

"At least 500!"

"D-don't hurt yourself!"

"I won't!"

I brushed my hand through the back of his hair lightly and let it rest on his shoulder blade. My small polar bear bounded into the room and sat in front of me watching me go up and down. It cocked its head and I reached out and stroked its head which fit into the palm of my hand. I smiled and pulled it into my lap.

"Is it too heavy…?"

"I didn't even feel it!"

I smiled and thought back to how Alfred had made all the muscles he had from various wars. I remember from when I was still small and Alfred was fighting the revolution how I could see it from my window. How fast he ran and how hard he fought. I admired him even back then. Compared to him I was a weakling. I'm not completely weak in fact I'm on the strong side, but nowhere near his level. But we even out abilities when it comes to literacy. I read much bigger books than he does and write much more as well. But none of that seems to matter. We don't look at whose better at what or whose worse. We don't really even notice.

He laughed slightly as he finished and lay down on the floor and was panting.

"500 pushups! Too easy!"

"For you maybe." I leaned down and hugged him loosely around his neck. His hand brushed my face and my cheeks went red instantly. I slid off his back and lay on my stomach next to him.

"You're not weak."

"I'm not that strong…"

"Stop that." He said that sharply and looked at me with disapproving eyes. I turned my head towards the floor and put my head in my crossed arms. I felt his arm across my back and he said softly," I don't like it when you put yourself down." His lips brushed my cheek. "You're too cute."

My cheeks went even redder and my mumbled stutter came out. He laughed and hugged me closer to him. I have to admit, its nice loving someone who's much stronger than I am.

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I was dreaming. I was in some weird world where everything was floating. Trees were floating, rocks were floating, and I was even floating. I tried to move around but my flailing movements just managed to make me swirl and flip. My polar bear dog paddled in front of me and I tried to catch up but again I couldn't move. I yelled and tried to move but again all I did was flip and swirl.

Suddenly it all started to fade and I heard my name being called. I opened my eyes and saw Alfred standing above me in a pair of boxers and a white shirt. The living room was dark and I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching late night TV. I remembered I had taken a shower and had thrown on one of Alfred's sweatshirts and walked out into the living room. He said he was going to bed and I said I'd be in, in a half hour after my hair dried. He had kissed my forehead and gone to the bedroom. I must've fallen asleep watching TV or something. My legs felt cold from just wearing Alfred's sweatshirt and I shivered.

"Matty are you okay?"

"Yeah… just fell asleep out here…"

I tried to get up but my body was too tired and groggy. I groaned sleepily and tried again. Alfred laughed slightly and lay down on the couch curled up against me. His arms were wrapped protectively around my waist and back and I held him around his chest. I nuzzled my face into his chest and said sleepily," You can go into the bed if you want…"

He kissed the top of my head and said," I love you."

I fell back into sleep and managed to mumble," I love you too…"

My dreams were much more pleasant.

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"Hold still or these won't stay in!"

"But Alfred it itches…"

Alfred secured the cat ear head piece onto my head and concealed the string with my hair. The pointed cat ears sat on top of my head and I shook my head a little to make sure they wouldn't fall off. Alfred smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile shyly back at him.

It was October 31st and Alfred had insisted we go out trick-or-treating. I had been a few times when I was younger but that was years ago. I remembered back to when I was still very young how France and England had taken both Alfred and I out on Halloween one year. Alfred was a super hero and I was a polar bear if I remember correctly. He had a very colorful costume and kept running just to see if his cape would fly out behind him. We got so much candy that night I ended up dragging my bag most of the way home.

Back then I would have done this sort of thing no questions asked. However, I had absolutely no idea how he had convinced me to dress up like this _now._

He had somehow managed to get me into a black turtle neck and black jeans. He made me hold still he safety pinned a cat tail pinned to the waist and tied cat ears to my head. It sounded like such a good idea when he explained it to me, but now I felt a little ridiculous.

"A-Alfred I-I don't think this is such a good idea anymore…"

"Why not?!"

"Aren't we too old for this?"

"Nonsense! You're never too old for free candy!"

I sighed and smiled at him not wanting or being able to crush his hopes and joy. He too was wearing the exact same costume but he had painted whiskers on his cheeks and a pink dot on his nose. I thought he looked cuter in it than I did though. It seemed as soon as I noticed how cute the whiskers looked he took the face paint set and dipped the brush in black paint.

"Here Matthew, I'll paint the whiskers on for you!"

I sat still as the cold brush and paint were swept carefully across my cheeks to form whiskers. Alfred also painted a pink nose on my face as well and smiled.

"How do I look?" I asked nervously after the paint on my face dried.

"You look very cute!"

I felt my cheeks go from cool to warm as the blush crept across my face. I smiled and stood up from the kitchen chair and went to look into a mirror. I saw my reflection and giggled a little. There were three black lines on both of my cheeks and perfect pink circle on my nose. I didn't think I looked ridiculous but I felt like I was young again. I felt a sense of freedom and excitement flow through me and I suddenly couldn't wait to get out the door. Alfred followed in after me as if to admire his work. He smiled proudly into the mirror and I smiled widely.

My insecurities washed away and I turned towards him and said," Let's go get some free candy nya!"

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I laid on the couch with my eyes closed listening to some music feeling the warmth of the sun come in from the windows. It was around four or five in the afternoon and Alfred wasn't home. He had some business to take care of and had left about an hour ago. I didn't mind being by myself but for some reason I felt worried. I didn't know why I felt like that all of a sudden.

We had been living with each other for some time now and nothing bad had happened yet. Every day was happy and good with almost no sour notes. Sure sometimes he forgot to do the dishes and I forget to make my side of the bed but don't all people? But other than that it was all happy and well… perfect.

But still… I felt like something was going to happen if he wasn't here; something bad would happen if he wasn't here to protect me. I sighed and thought about this. I realized that he wouldn't always be there to protect me every single second of every day. I needed to stand up for myself but for some reason that was difficult for me. I had always been shy and withdrawn but what was stopping me from changing? How would that stop me from being brave and bolder and defending myself? How would-

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door and I was snapped out of my thoughts. I heard the knock again and I smiled suddenly.

"Alfred did you forget your key again?"

I laughed slightly and got off the couch and took off my headphones. I unlocked the door still giggling and remarked," Alfred really is this the fifth or sixth time you forgot your ke-"

But as I opened the door fully I cut off my sentence and my heart sunk.

"Hello Canada, I haven't seen much of you these days."

France stood there smiling but something about him made me feel uneasy. I stumbled over my words and suddenly it was harder to talk. I had seen France in months and suddenly he was at my door. He hadn't called or wrote a letter so why all of a sudden? He couldn't possibly know… could he?

"I-I've been busy l-lately…"

"Really, with what?"

I managed to gather some courage and say," I've been spending time with America…"

France got a slightly surprised look on his face and stepped closer to the threshold.

"Oh? Is that so? What have you two been up to?"

His foot was halfway through the door and I said as bravely as I could," N-None of your business."

His movements stopped abruptly.

"Excuse me?"

He said it in French and for some reason it lit my irritation and made me braver. How dare he demand to know my own business and personal life. He didn't own me!

And that's when it hit me. _He didn't own me! _I was independent and I could take care of my self! Suddenly all his threats felt empty and courage flooded me. He couldn't take away the land that was mine! He didn't own it anymore! I had broken away from him years ago so he had no right or claim to my land!

"You heard me. None of your business and I think you should leave Francis."

He stared at me and but my face remained unmoved. Suddenly the smile came back to his face, but not the smile from when I had opened the door. It was the smile from _that _day.

I stood frozen as he spoke. "But you didn't even invite me in."

Words were at a loss for me and I had no idea what to do. Should I scream? No that wouldn't have done any good. Should I slam the door in his face? No, his foot was on the threshold and would prevent it from shutting. So what was there left to do?

Suddenly my bravery was gone and he pushed his way in.

Sure his threats were empty, but his strength and what had happened was real.

"What is this you're wearing?"

He pointed to my torso and I remembered I was wearing one of Alfred's shirts. My face flamed and I mumbled towards the floor.

"O-one of A-America's shirts…"

"Really and how did it end up here?"

"H-He s-s-stays with me s-sometimes…" That wasn't technically a lie I just left out the part about how we were in love and how we got clothes mixed up a lot.

France's face darkened slightly and I could sense some kind of anger.

"He stays here does he? Why does he do that when he has his own house?"

The words just stumbled out of my mouth with a last attempt at bravery.

"H-He told me h-he loves me and I-I love him too and he lives here and I-I live at his house t-too."

"So you two are together?"

"Y-yes…"

"How did this happen? I figured you would be too shy to tell him…"

"He knows Francis."

"Oh so he guessed?"

I met his eyes and said sternly and my bravery suddenly came back to a degree.

"No, I mean he knows what you did to me. I told him and he promised me he'd never let you get to me again… and _I _ won't let you get to me again."

France's eyes were shocked and angry and he was apparently at a loss for words. I wanted to smile from triumph but I wasn't out of the danger area yet.

"I think you should leave Francis. I don't want you he-"

Suddenly I was crashing onto the ground under France's weight. I screamed but his hand flew to my mouth and covered it. I heard him yelling at me but the words didn't make any sense in my head. I was overwhelmed with fear and I couldn't move. My heart was beating furiously and I wanted to push him off but I was frozen. I was so scared and intimidated that all I could do was stare at his angry expression with tear filled eyes.

Suddenly his mouth was on mine and his hands were pulling at my clothing. And suddenly reality came back to me. I wasn't going to let myself fall victim to France anymore. I needed to defend and protect myself and not let Alfred protect me all the time. This wasn't going to happen! I refused to let it happen!

I did the bravest thing I could have ever possibly done.

_I didn't originally plan on writing on writing a second part but I got so many wonderful reviews that I couldn't turn you guys down! Thank you for reading and I promise I'll have chapter three done as soon as possible!_

_And yeah I know France is really out of character in this but it just kind of turned out that way. I really don't have anything against France I swear! _

_Thank you for reading!_

_~HC_


	3. Hold Me

I took the biggest breath I could through my nose, felt my heart beat furiously for a few seconds and then, using all the strength possible in my jaw, I bit down on his bottom lip. I tasted something wet and copper tasting and he yelled in pain and jerked backwards holding his mouth. I was shocked and surprised I had done something so bold that I just laid there for a few seconds staring wide eyed as he pressed his fingers to mouth and looked at them and at the scarlet liquid that came from his mouth. I blinked a few times and then tasted the small bit of liquid that was on my tongue. At first I didn't realize what it was but when I tasted it I recognized it as blood and that somehow immediately snapped me back to what was happening.

If I didn't do something else soon I was in serious trouble. He too stared at me unbelievably and suddenly his face went dark.

"How _dare _you Matthew… how _dare _you... you non-appreciative and selfish br-"

"HELP!!!!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs after taking the biggest breath that I could with him on top of me.

"SOMEBODY HELP!!!"

"Be quiet!"

"**NO!!!"**

I was through with being quiet. I was through with being silent and letting others just pass me by. I was through doing what everyone else told me to do. I was through with not speaking up and not saying what was on my mind. I was through with being a shadow. But most importantly I was through with France. No I was _done. _I was done with his advances. I was done with his threats. I was done with his manipulation. I was done with him treating me so awfully. I was just simply and plainly done.

His eyes grew angry and his hand clamped over my mouth to hush my screams. As soon as I felt the rough skin of his hand against my open mouth I bit down on his hand and he withdrew it too from pain. He slapped the side of my face and tears immediately welled in my eyes. I touched my cheek where it stung and was turning pink. I was afraid to look into France's eyes but I forced myself to brave and I did.

He was glaring at me and he was face was dark. My heart started to hammer and I was scared to even breathe. But I didn't want this to happen; I wasn't going to _let _this happen. And that meant I had to be brave and stand up for myself and fight off France. I wasn't going to do myself any favors by just lying there like a deer in the headlights. I needed to be strong and violent actually. I needed to believe in myself.

I suddenly sent my hand that was tightened into a fist flying into his stomach. He coughed from impact and he lost his balance and almost fell off my stomach. I took that opportunity to try to wriggle free out from under him. I pushed his leg off me and ran for the front door. I thought I was free but he grabbed my ankle and I fell to the floor and onto my stomach. I screamed and tried to get back up but he rammed his knee onto my back putting all his weight on me.

I tried to scream but his weight was making it hard for me to breathe. I tried to swing my arms behind me and hit him but he caught them with one arm and pinned them behind my back and slammed my head onto the floor with his other hand. I screamed and yelled the best I could and tried to kick but it wasn't doing any good. Tears unwillingly came to my eyes and sobs escaped my throat.

He laughed. He laughed darkly and starting talking to me like I was filth under his shoe.

"You say America loves you? Well where is he now? I don't see him coming to save his precious little Matty. You say he loves you but you're here crying and screaming! I thought when you loved someone you were supposed to save them and protect them and make sure they don't get hurt. Well he's not doing that is he? I don't think-"

Each word he said stabbed at my heart. Even though my sobs and screams were far louder than the level at which he was talking I heard every word. I heard every word as if it was blaring over a speaker system and each word stung like hot pokers. They stung and it made me angry and upset. Alfred loved me. I know he loved me. And who was France to tell me otherwise?! He didn't own me! I wasn't a toy he could play with! I was a human being with my own feelings and emotions! And I had control over myself! He didn't own me! **He didn't own me!**

"**SHUT UP!!!!" **I screamed and jerked my entire body and felt the anger that was brewing in my stomach ignite with a fury. France lost his balance and fell on top of me. I jerked around more and pushed him off of me. I wasn't going to let him hurt me! I wasn't going to let him use me! I was in control of my life and I had power.

I scrambled off the floor and again ran for the door. France got up quickly as well and tried to grab me as I reached the door but I fought back fiercely. I hit him directly in the face and gut and I think I kicked him a few times as well.

In a strange way it felt good to be hitting him. I was fed up with him and I finally got the chance to do what I had always been too afraid to. I could finally release all the built up anger I had towards France.

He somehow caught my fists and we were pushing each other's hands in opposite directions causing them to shake from tension.

"That- is_-it _Matthew! Consider your land mine now!"

"I don't think so!"

"Oh you don't? What gives you that right?"

"**YOU DON'T OWN ME!!!"**

I sent my knee flying right into his groin and he folded over in pain. I pushed him down and he fell onto the floor groaning in pain. I ran towards the door again aiming to run out and yell for help, only to have it fly open, smash into my face and knock me unconscious.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I heard yelling.

And then I heard very loud shouting and swearing.

I felt myself behind slightly picked up off the floor and being held tightly.

Was it France?

He was holding me… or was he?

Who was he shouting at?

I couldn't make out words or voices.

My head hurt badly.

I didn't want him holding me.

I couldn't see.

It was all black.

I couldn't open my eyes, they were too heavy.

I still didn't want him holding me.

I was so weak.

I had to have some strength left right?

I tried to raise my arms and push him away but when I tried my head throbbed.

I groaned in pain.

Suddenly I heard Alfred's voice calling my name softly. He was saying my name softly and shakily as if he was crying.

"Matthew! Matthew! Matthew wake up!"

I followed his voice and suddenly had the strength to open my eyes. Light flooded them and it was bright. Everything was fuzzy at first, like there were blobs everywhere with no definite shape. I was confused and my head was pounding. I couldn't remember how I had blacked out. I just remembered running towards the door and then everything going black. I resisted the urge to panic but it was hard to do so.

Had France gotten what he wanted? Had he taken advantage of me while I was unconscious? Had Alfred come in to see what was going on? Was he too late? Why were they shouting? Why was France still here? Who was holding me?

Suddenly my vision started to clear and things started taking on shapes. I saw the window and the blinds that were still drawn on it. I saw the couch and the cushions. I then saw the rug and there was a red spot on it. Wait was that… blood?! My eyes shot frantically around and I saw France standing a few feet away. He had dried blood under his lip from where I bit him and a few red marks and bruises. An odd sense of pride swept over me but then I realized something. If he was over there then who was…?

I looked up and saw Alfred looking at me with tear filled eyes. His eyes looked so sad and angry. Tears were streaming down his cheeks in streaks. I felt awful. This was the first time I had ever seen Alfred cry. I wanted to reach up and stroke his cheek but I couldn't make my arm move. My head pounded even more as I tried to move and I groaned again.

"Matthew…?"

I took in breath and whispered out," Alfred…"

I weakly smiled and said softly," I'm okay… right?"

Alfred's face suddenly darkened and he turned his head up from me and towards France. I turned my eyes in the direction where France was and for some reason had the urge to scream.

I heard America's voice firmly say to him," Get the hell out."

France just stood there like a deer in the headlights and didn't move.

"I said '_get out'_!" Alfred repeated even more sternly.

France seemed to regain his composure slightly as he crossed his arms and smirked. He cocked his head to the side and asked smugly," And if I don't?"

Alfred's voice grew threatening and even I myself was scared.

"I will personally cute off your stupid head, stuff it, and mount it on a wall."

"Do you even know what happened? You came in and just assumed things after hitting poor Matty in the head with the door."

So that was how I blacked out. Alfred must have heard my screams and came running in not expecting me to be right in front of the door. And due to his strength and panic, he probably opened it much harder than necessary.

"**Don't call him that! **You don't have the right!"

"Well well possessive aren't we? And you don't even know what was going on!"

"You bastard I know what you were trying to do!"

"Oh? And exactly was I trying to do?"

"You were trying to take advantage of Matthew you pervert!"

"And how do you know? You came in and hit Matthew with the door and immediately assumed the worst and started to scream at me. You didn't even let me explain."

"Oh I'd _love _to hear this!"

"Well you see I came over to discuss a possibility of new imports and exports for trade and he thought I was you when I knocked on the door so he yelled for me to come in. I let myself in and walked to the other side of the living room. He came in from the kitchen and he panicked and started to yell. I tried to tell him to calm down but he started to hit me and I only tried to defend myself. He kicked me right in the waist and ran for the door and that's when you came in."

Anger boiled in the pit of my stomach like a bomb waiting to go off. That was the biggest lie I had ever heard! He had forced his way in, interrogated me about my personal life and if I hadn't been brave and fought back he would have gotten his way. I wanted to yell at him and scream the truth but my voice was held back since I was very weak and my head hurt so much it felt like it was going to explode. But I couldn't just lay there quiet as a church mouse and let this go!

"Well if so then wah-"

"He's…lying…" I whispered.

Alfred turned his attention back to me and stared at me with pupils that were wide as saucers. He held onto me tighter and asked," What did you say?"

"He's a liar…"

France spoke up at this point. "How would you know? You got hit in the head! You're probably confused beyond belief!"

"Shut up you asshole…"

Alfred and France fell silent at the sound of a cuss word coming from my mouth. They both knew me well enough to know that I had to be furious to swear. Alfred broke the tensed silence and spoke to me softly.

"Matty… what happened?"

I didn't want to tell him. I just wanted him to hold me while I cried. I wanted France to leave me alone and never speak to me again. But I had to do this. I wasn't planning on letting France get away with this. Despite how much it hurt I told Alfred what happened.

"He came here and knocked on the door… I thought it was you so… I answered without thinking… I tried to make him leave… but he asked why… he hadn't seen much of me…lately. I told him… about us and… I told him to leave… but he got angry… and he tackled me to the ground and… got on top of me. He tried to… rape me… but I fought back and…. I ran for the door… and I guess it hit me… in the face because I blacked out."

As I told Alfred this his face grew darker with more anger. He held me tighter and I could feel him shaking. I forced myself to keep talking and tried to ignore the stares I was getting from France and the tears spilling down Alfred's cheeks. I had to take frequent pauses to breathe but when Alfred was sure I was finished he was very quiet. His eyes were closed and his hold on me was tight and protective. He was so quiet that I started to get worried.

"Alfred…?"

He suddenly snapped at France.

"You leave now or I'll _**kill you**_."

"Wah-what?!"

"You heard me you bastard! **GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!**"

Alfred's voice boomed and I flinched from the volume of it. His hold on me tightened as he yelled the last three words and I felt scared but the most protected I ever had at the same time.

France must have caught the hint since he ran past Alfred and right out the door without another word. As soon as the front door slammed shut and France was gone, the anger was gone from Alfred's face and he started bawling. He buried his face into my shoulder and let out loud sobs. I was starting to regain my strength and raised a hand to his hair and started to stroke it.

"Matthew I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's my fault! I wasn't here for you! I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you ever again and…I'm sorry!"

"Alfred it isn't your fault. This isn't your fault."

"But I promised you I wouldn't let him get to you again… I wasn't here to save you."

"I'm alright Alfred. I feel fine, my head just hurts a little that's all."

"You should look in a mirror Matthew…"

"Why?"

"You've got a big red mark on your cheek and bruises all over your arms… it's killing me actually."

I looked at my arm and sure enough it was splattered with bruises. It was especially dark around my wrists where France held them behind my back.

"They don't hurt…"

"Matthew you don't need to lie."

"I'm not lying. I only have a head ache but that's about it." I smiled at him and my face burned from where France had shoved it onto the carpet. Okay so maybe it did hurt like hell but Alfred didn't need to know right?

"...That was probably my fault huh? I heard you screaming and yelling and I got so scared and I just flew through the door without thinking."

"It's alright, I'm fine."

"Did… did he... you know…?"

I smiled at him and shook my head.

"I wouldn't let him. I hit him a lot."

Alfred's face went from scared to shocked to relieved to happy.

"You socked him? Well judging by the marks on his face you did but how hard?!"

"Hard. I realized you wouldn't always be here and I needed to stick up for myself. I wanted to be brave… I was fed up."

Alfred smiled at me and held me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his tight embrace. I felt safe and protected again. I also felt so much love that it was almost unbelievable. We sat there for a very long time just holding each other. I lost track of time after a while. It didn't matter to me how much time had passed. I was perfectly happy in his arms.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alfred asked me softly and out of the blue.

"I'm fine… as long as I have you."

I could feel his smile and I was sure he could have felt mine.

"I love you Matthew."

"I love you too Alfred."

Life is peaceful now.

It's fun and happy and full of love.

It's very pleasurable to wake up to a new day this happy.

And waking up to the person I love may help matters as well.

I used to just float through the week quietly and uneventful.

I figured each day was the same as the last.

That definitely changed now.

I look forward to each day with a bright smile, a brave heart,

And Alfred's hand clasped around mine lovingly.

And that's all I can really ask for.

Omake:

.com/art/Omake-Momzilla-UK-120866329

_I can't believe this is over! I got so attached to these characters!!! I love you guys! Thank you so much for all the kind and thoughtful words!!!_


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